The One Best Parenting Advice for Positive Parenting
Give your child roots to stay grounded and wings to fly.
Raising a happy child is one of the most challenging jobs a parent can have — and also the most rewarding.
Research shows how you parent your child can affect everything from how much your child weighs to how she feels about herself. — Verywell family
How you interact with your child and the environment you provide will influence her for the rest of her life. You are responsible for your child’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being as a parent. Her overall health is critical to how your child handles stress, relates to others, and makes healthy choices.
Before reading further, consider these parameters recommended by CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) to measure your child’s overall wellbeing:
- Affection, resilience, positivity, and curiosity among children ages 3–5 years
- Curiosity, persistence, and self-control among children ages 6–11 years
- Curiosity, persistence, and self-control among children ages 12–17 years
How often your child expresses, these emotions will help you understand the overall well-being of your child.
This brings us to the ultimate parenting conundrum and the crucial part of the article you all have been waiting for — This One Best Parenting Advice for Positive Parenting.
I am a parent who strives daily to provide my daughter with a positive, nurturing environment that allows her to grow into the person she truly is. How am I doing it? What is this 1 secret parenting shift that has helped make a huge difference in my parenting method?
Keep reading to find the answer to your everyday parenting struggles.
What is — this one best parenting advice for positive parenting
Though there are so many possible answers, the truth behind all of them is really very simple:
- You give your child wings and show her how to be free.
As a parent, I feel this is one of the primary contradictions of parenting — the delicate juggling act between setting limits while simultaneously encouraging independence. Finding a way to give your kids both roots to keep them grounded and wings to soar high is possibly the best gift you as a parent can ever give.
To better understand the concept of ‘Roots and Wings’ parenting, the poem On Children by Kahlil Gibran is befitting. It’s heartbreaking genius how the lyrics floor me each time I read it.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, they belong not to you.
What does Kahlil Gibran mean by ‘They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself?”
The line evokes a visceral response in me each time I read it. Without a doubt, I have a biological, emotional, and spiritual instinct to care for my daughter. I chose (perhaps) to have her. I am conscientiously raising her, teaching her, loving her.
With all of my emotions, how do I treat my daughter like the person she is capable of becoming one day? How do I give her the most significant, best gift — roots to stay grounded and wings to fly?
This is when I changed my parenting style by understanding and accepting the following…
✅You do not own your child.
✅Your child belongs to the universe.
✅Life longs to reproduce itself, and we (Parents)are its servants who carry out that master plan.
✅Remember, children do not turn back to us, from whence they came, but forward to the future, into which we will follow them.
The key to positive parenting is to provide a secure foundation from which your child can grow and develop.
Providing a secure base for your children requires an undeterred parental commitment. It requires you as a parent to be attuned to your child’s needs and take actions in ways that promote safety, security, and trust.
I learned this essential parental fact from an article by Dan Mager MSW, ‘How to Help Your Children Thrive by Growing Roots Then Wings.’
He says ‘Children develop a sense of safety, security, and trust through consistency, reliability, and stability on the part of their parents. Such commitment involves devotion to cultivating and maintaining the soil. In which your children’s roots grow, making it soft, receptive, and fertile.’
How do you achieve this?
✅By providing consistent physical and emotional protection.
✅Being responsive to your child’s individual needs and interests.
✅Showing your child kindness, compassion, and empathy.
✅Providing appropriate structure — setting and enforcing boundaries, limits, and consequences.
Once more, the second stanza from Kahlil Gibran’s poem On Children is apt to — This One Best Parenting Advice for Positive Parenting.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
Wings equip children to separate and individuate from their parents — taking off from that secure base toward a future of their own choosing.
- Role-modeling real-life examples of acceptance, integrity, responsibility, tolerance, honesty, humility, gratitude, forgiveness, and love.
- Nurturing their physical, emotional, intellectual, and ethical development.
- Encouraging their burgeoning age-appropriate autonomy.
I can not help but present the third stanza from Kahlil Gibran’s poem On Children. It is self-explanatory and appropriate to the concept of ‘Wings’ in the context of parenting.
You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
In my closing statement, I would like to reiterate the meaning of ‘What it means to give your child roots and wings?’ I hope it stays with you — my readers, even after you have read the article. I implore you to ponder it for a little while and use it in everyday parenting.
Roots — a knowledge of belonging — and wings — a recognition of the need for autonomy; these together are what children need from their families to become productive, well-functioning, and happy adults.
My 2-year-old is an explorer. She likes to taste her toys. She wants to test limits when we are at the park by jumping up and down the stairs under supervision. I do not let my anxiety come in the way of her healthy upbringing. Instead, support and encourage her to learn about her environment. In the future, when she is a 16-year-old experimenter, trying a new hair color or a pierced ear, or pushing curfew, she’ll learn about personal responsibility without fearing venturing out into an unpredictable and changing society.
That’s my goal as a parent. What is yours? Fam let me know your thoughts and experiences as a parent in the comments below. 😊🙏
I want to give a special mention to Heather Cooper, whose work I really enjoy reading. You can read her article ‘Write to share your point of view’ below. Visit her profile to explore more of her work.